Who Wants to Marry a Mult-Homosexual?
July 6, 2008With California recently passing a law making it legal for gays to marry, there’s a lot of uproar. And rightfully so! Marriage is a sacred bond, with a lot of religious influence, between a man and a woman who meet each other, fall in love, and make their love official with a certificate issues by a court house. The same people who sentence people to community service for streaking down Elm Street during Halloween are the same people who tell you that your sacred bond is legally official. It doesn’t get much more sacred than paperwork.
Which got me wondering, what are these gays thinking? Breaching that bond between man and woman that is so special, one that lasts until death do you part in all but 37% of cases in the 20-24 year old age group. Those 37% of people are obviously gay or something. Don’t fret though, only 16% of people ages 25-29 are apparently gay.
And get this, the straightest group of people are over the age of 90, where the divorce rate drops off significantly.
Gay people can’t have kids, which is one reason why gay marriage is bad news. Procreation is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us, and why should we waste that gift by getting partners we can’t use it with? In 2005 there were over half a million children in foster care, which isn’t the fault of bad parenting, or the inability to parent, or any other reason that might put straight parents at fault In fact, it’s the fault of gay parenting.
But the bottom line is, marriage is a sacred bond, especially here in the United States. Do you remember that show Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionare? Rick Rockwell met a woman on that show and got married to her. The premise of the show was obvious based on the title, but to further elaborate on it, the specific synopsis of the show is “Who wants to enter into a ’sacred’ bond between a man and a woman based on the man’s income?” Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger, the woman who beat out 49 other women for the chance to show how much she loved Rick, ended up getting a divorce shortly after the show was finished airing. Those damn Gay people ruined another sacred bond!
But the real inspiration to me, and the reason why I think marriage will work, is because of the six year old show The Bachelor. I even know a guy who was on that show. You might have heard of him, his name is Jesse Palmer, former quarterback for the University of Florida. If The Bachelor is any indication, then over half of all marriages are ruined by gay people.
If it isn’t plainly obvious by the evidence I just presented then I will spell this out for you: Gay people are ruining the sacred bond of marriage. Marriage doesn’t mean anything to anyone if those fags can marry the ones that they love. Instead, they need to exploit the sacred bond on game shows, because that, my friend, is the very definition of sacred.